I began drawing closer to God when I was 18 years old. I always believed in Him and always felt Him near, but He didn't seem close enough. That was my doing, of course. My family is not very religious, and I only attended church a few times with my grandmother as a child. Therefore, I had no idea where to begin to draw nearer to God or what was even expected of me. Since then I've attended a few churches and I've been reading my Bible and even researching different topics on Christian websites.
When it came to prayer I was taught to use the Lord's prayer as a map. To be humble and praise God, and then ask of Him what I need or just tell Him my worries. It was a good concept to learn but I think I took it too literally. My prayers always felt too time consuming and too scripted. My heart wasn't in it to be honest. The devil made me struggle with having conversations with my Father in heaven. That was far from okay. My spirituality was suffering as a result.
However, I've recently had an epiphany. God is my everything. My creator, my provider, my protector, my best friend, my Father, my guide, my treasure, my healer, my therapist, and the essence of my very soul. He deserves better than scripted conversations with His child. He deserves better than what I was giving Him. Somehow I figured that while I do need to remain humble and praise Him, I need to talk with Him as though He is my best friend. My husband, or my family member. Tell Him my worries, my fears, my hopes, my joys, and my dreams. I should pray as though I'm writing in my diary that no one but He shall read.
I've begun doing that. My prayers are so much more relaxed now and my heart is content. I feel relieved, and I feel so much more closer to Him. This is what He wanted. For me to give Him my heart and be comfortable in my relationship with Him. And He told me so Himself.
I'm grateful for the advice my fellow Christ followers have given me and for all that I've learned. But each heart is unique and each individual will share in different ways with our God. As it should be, because He loves us all but only He knows our unique needs and wants. I'm grateful for this epiphany that has brought me so much more closer to the One I love the most.
When it came to prayer I was taught to use the Lord's prayer as a map. To be humble and praise God, and then ask of Him what I need or just tell Him my worries. It was a good concept to learn but I think I took it too literally. My prayers always felt too time consuming and too scripted. My heart wasn't in it to be honest. The devil made me struggle with having conversations with my Father in heaven. That was far from okay. My spirituality was suffering as a result.
However, I've recently had an epiphany. God is my everything. My creator, my provider, my protector, my best friend, my Father, my guide, my treasure, my healer, my therapist, and the essence of my very soul. He deserves better than scripted conversations with His child. He deserves better than what I was giving Him. Somehow I figured that while I do need to remain humble and praise Him, I need to talk with Him as though He is my best friend. My husband, or my family member. Tell Him my worries, my fears, my hopes, my joys, and my dreams. I should pray as though I'm writing in my diary that no one but He shall read.
I've begun doing that. My prayers are so much more relaxed now and my heart is content. I feel relieved, and I feel so much more closer to Him. This is what He wanted. For me to give Him my heart and be comfortable in my relationship with Him. And He told me so Himself.
I'm grateful for the advice my fellow Christ followers have given me and for all that I've learned. But each heart is unique and each individual will share in different ways with our God. As it should be, because He loves us all but only He knows our unique needs and wants. I'm grateful for this epiphany that has brought me so much more closer to the One I love the most.